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Habs 4, Sens 1: Excrement E-mail
Written by SLC   
Tuesday, 08 December 2009 22:04

WARNING: Across the jump is not a place for the young, feeble, feeble minded or easily offended.  In other words, Alex Kovalev can fuck right the fuck off.

It's Rant Stick time.

SHITPISSFUCKCUNTCOCKSUCKERMOTHERFUCKERTITS!!

  • Dear Cory.  Your line combos now officially suck.  Under no circumstances should Giggles and Kovy be on the ice at the same time ever again.  Their combined lazy, weak assed, purulent, pus filled, vomit inducing exhibitions of dog fuckery will rend a hole in space-time and destroy us all.

  • On the off chance that my point remains in any way unclear, Alex Kovalev needs to be hung from the nearest fucking lamp post and beaten like a fucking pinata.

  • If anyone has seen the real A-Train, please contact your local police.  Ask for Missing Persons.

  • For those scoring at home, that makes eight (EIGHT!!) Too Many Men calls this season.  Again, I have to ask...HOW FUCKING HARD IS IT TO COMPLETE A LEGAL LINE CHANGE?!?!?!

  • Hi Filip.  Did getting ass raped by Gomez with the Sens' net empty IN YOUR OWN FUCKING ZONE for the Habs' last goal hurt, or are have you just resigned yourself to being everybody's bitch?  Just asking.  I need to set my expectations for the rest of the season is all.

  • Have I mentioned that Alex Kovalev should be flayed alive?

  • 0-7 on the PP.  Now that we've mastered the art of hitting our own guys with point shots, perhaps we can move on to...oh, I don't know...PLAYING LIKE REAL HONEST-TO-GOD FUCKING PROFESSIONALS???  'Cause that would be cool.

  • No, seriously.  Alex Kovalev needs to be fed into a wood chipper.

  • SHITPISSFUCKCUNTCOCKSUCKERMOTHERFUCKERTITS!!

Creamy Middle on this abortion to follow tomorrow.  Assuming I can get my gorge, not to mention my implacable rage, to settle by then.

Tied for eighth.  FUCK!

 

 

Comments (6)Add Comment
...
written by Carina, December 08, 2009
So I guess it's a good thing I chose to "study" instead of watch the game?

And by study I mean watch hours of Friends blooper reels
...
written by Exx, December 09, 2009
This is what I don't get about Murray. How could he have brought this guy in here? With Heatley gone we the only forward with blatant work ethic problems was Spezza, and he looks like he was thinking of maybe finally giving in and trying it a little. Now Kovalev.

I'm starting to think it was Melnyk. Perhaps after he learned Cammalleri wasn't coming? I just don't see Murray going into this eyes-wide-open. Maybe I give too much credit?

...
written by MasterOfPuppets, December 09, 2009
That was almost the Atlanta game all over again. This team is fantastic at making opposition goalies look good.

The shitty thing is we have 3 - count em three overpaid has beens - putting em on a line was fucking brilliant. The new 4th line - Kovalev, Spezza and Cheechoo. 16M dollars of pure horseshit.

Now, on former Habs who we could have had on the cheap - Saku Koivu comes to mind. His production is about equal to Kovalevs. 1.5M for a third liner you can stomach.

And right now Spezza wouldn't fetch much on the trade market, so you can't even go there. Stuck with an overpaid 3rd line Centre. Fuck the 2 way game, I'd rather see him back to the 1 way style.

At this rate, he will never get more than 50 points again.

C'mon where's that bus! A nice 60 ft articulated OC transpo beauty at 90km/h. And launch that trio under it.

•SHITPISSFUCKCUNTCOCKSUCKERMOTHERFUCKERTITS!!

That echo's my sentiments exactly.

The secondary scoring has become the primary and the primary has taken a country club dirt nap.

Wake me up when December ends.

I sort fo feel sorry for you
written by HabsFan29, December 09, 2009
I said "sort of".

Welcome to Kovalev Kountry! Been there, done that.
...
written by SLC, December 09, 2009
@Carina: Can you fire those my way? I'll need Jennifer Aniston's legs to distract me from the inevitable beat down in Philly tomorrow.

@Exx: It does have a Daniel Snyder-esque feel about it, doesn't it? And for a quick answer, take a look at the Ducks team The Bryan built before coming here. See any Kovys on that one? QED.

@MOP: How Clouston thought Giggles and 27 could ever work on the same line boggles the mind.

@HF29: Be a pal. Can I get some of that meth?
Koivu
written by The Ryan Coke Experience, December 10, 2009
Just as a heads up, Koivu makes more than double $1.5 million. He actually makes $3.25 million.

And he's only got four goals and nine assists this season. Kovalev has four goals and ten assists.

The only difference is Koivu can be defensive centre as well.

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Last Updated on Tuesday, 08 December 2009 23:00
 

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