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You See, Mrs. Melnyk Has Been Most Vocal On The Subject Of The Pretzel Monies E-mail
Written by SLC   
Tuesday, 03 November 2009 19:37

As you might have guessed, The Emperor didn't get rich by writing a bunch of cheques, a singular trick to acquiring unimaginable wealth, or so the tee-vee tells me.  I wouldn't know as I have yet to master it (no thanks to you, Bell Canada...jerks).  Of course, exactly how he did manage to get rich remains the subject of some speculation (not to mention the odd "official" "investigation"), but that's neither here nor there.

However, what is very much here, and here, and here, but mostly there, is the revelation that The Euge would very much like to have one of those cheques back.

Sun Media has learned the Senators owner was so furious with being forced to shell out a $4-million bonus to Dany Heatley, who refused to accept a trade to the Edmonton Oilers on July 1, he has filed a grievance asking for his money back.-- Ottawa Sun

The argument goes that by squelching the deal to the Oilers, Team Doucheldorf left The Bryan with no other choice but to dance the dirty with the Sharks, whose offer was conditional upon a post Canada Day consummation thereby leaving Ottawa on the hook for the bonus (this, by-the-by, would seem to indicate that Dany's peeps knew of the Sharks offer in advance, which casts the whole "I want other options" bullshit in an entirely tamper-ific new light, doesn't it?).

Now personally, I don't think His Omnipotence has a leg to stand on, but that's not the interesting part (well, duh).  What is rather interesting is the fact that neither does His Barbadian Magnificence.  But that's not the point, is it?  Oh, no.  Not by a long shot:

“I don’t think Melnyk really expects to get his money back,” said a league executive. “I do think he wants to cause Heatley some hardship because he caused plenty of problems for the Senators in the summer.”

On behalf of all Sens fans, I'd like to offer a heartfelt GO GET HIM, EUGENE!!  And might I also offer a suggestion?  Settle for having "CAVEAT FUCKING EMPTOR" branded on Dany's forehead, and we're all good.

Ye be warned, fucko.  Hell hath no fury like a billionaire scorned.

Comments (2)Add Comment
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written by Phase 10, November 04, 2009
I don't get the reference to Bell Canada being jerks, can you elaborate?
Um...okay...
written by SLC, November 04, 2009
@Phase 10: Aside from the fact that Bell Canada is a ginormous, soul destroying conglomerate (kind of like The Blob, only with less comprehensible billing practices) and hence jerks by default, the inference was that I will never amass unimaginable wealth, a la Eugene, because I'm writing too many cheques just to them.

Sorry. It was funnier in my head.

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Last Updated on Tuesday, 03 November 2009 21:31
 

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